I am kinda crazy with my New Years Goals…anyone that actually knows me…knows this very well. For years, they have been on my fridge, my mirror, somewhere I look everyday…and the list has grown.
When I started in 2010ish, it was a small list, by 2015…it was a page, last year we had almost 4 pages of goals broken down into 3 sections: Personal, Work and Afshin & I…I told myself that this year I need to “settle down” on the goals and could get away with a page or two…
I am on page 5…I am going to need to narrow that shit down.
Then again, I have had several people tell me, if I can just hit a few of my goals, we all will be doing great!
Some goals I accomplish right away and it feels so good!
The year I moved out of the Tenderloin by April, that was an epic goal to complete…3 months to do something I never thought possible! Then there was the time I wrote that I didn’t want to work with someone anymore and had to find a way to not deal with that person and on like January 3rd, they quit and moved to Hawaii…how the fuck did that happen!
Some goals I concentrate on only to realize, I don’t want them….pfffffttttt.
Ummmmmm, the second shop down the street! I am really glad I turned that down…now I may open another shop down the street this year, but it will not be a retail shop, it will be a goal I have been working on for years now…cause some goals that a really long time to accomplish!
Then there was the goal of Wearing all my clothes or throwing them out, I mean we know that is not really going to happen, but I try to purge as much as possible, I mean I did start Sunny’s Closet…
Some Goals magically happen and I don’t even realize it.
One of my Goals this year was to not fixate on competition, I get so focused sometimes dealing with what other people are doing and why…and the reality is, it is about what I am doing…and for many many years, I have worked my butt off to get where I am today…an no one can take that away…and it would be really really really hard for someone to get to the place where I am at today…so why even stress…sometimes to achieve a goal, I just need to shift perspective.
In 2020, I had a Goal of not letting road construction affect the business…well the pandemic happened and road construction didn’t affect my business one bit, cause I was closed….sometimes I wish I didn’t accomplish all the goals….:(
Some Goals I give up on and then happen when I finally give up.
I remember vividly in 2018 when I finally felt after so many years that I was truly ready to have a relationship again…and I wanted a meaningful one, and I actually made an effort. I took myself to Europe for Valentine’s Day and those European men opened my eyes on what I found attractive…and I really opened myself up to finding the right man, and I put myself out there, and it was freaking scary as shit and I really put a lot into it (honestly, I really wanted someone to hold me when I cried, it was one of the things I missed most about being in a real relationship) But the whole process was so intense and a lot of men really suck and I am a demanding bitch, I got so frustrated at the beginning of August and crossed that shit off the list and said to myself, this just isn’t going to happen… Two weeks later, Afshin walked into my apartment and the rest is history.
I had it on my list to get a personal assistant this year, because…HAVE YOU SEEN MY EMAILS, THEY ARE CRAZY…I mean 175 artists…wtf!! I thought I had found one early on in the year, and it just didn’t work…but I had already crossed it off my goals so I was kinda in limbo…December this year…I GOT AN ASSISTANT…and it feels so good!
Some Goals take me years to accomplish…
Going to Jazzfest….5 years, losing weight…4 years, starting to write again…4 years…but eventually, I accomplish them…those feel pretty magical, the ones you have been trying to do for oh so long…and you finally do them…
Mostly I just try to manifest…to put as much as I can out into the universe to see what sticks…I feel like I have to try…While it can make me vulnerable I feel my goals really push me forward each year…
If there is one thing that I have learned though, it is that SHIFT HAPPENS…and sometimes I just have to roll with it, accept it and have faith…if it is supposed to happen it will…
And I will not accomplish all of my goals…
But….I just got off to a pretty good start writing this blog on day one of a new year!!
Happy New Year Everyone!!!
Sunny Thought of the Month: Faith, this month, I am going to focus on my faith…not in a being or a spirit, but in ME. I need to remind myself how far I have come, instead of being frustrated with what I haven’t done, or need to do, I am going to have faith that it is all going to happen when it needs to happen…and surrender to it all!
